The report did give us one new piece of information – that Jessica’s death was from viral pneumonia and was unlikely to have been caused by an arrhythmia. It doesn’t really explain why she collapsed so suddenly or the mysterious back pain that she complained of in those last few moments but we are resigned to the fact that we know all we are ever going to know and that the only explanation we have is simply that her heart could no longer cope with the viruses she had. It seems surreal that this is the last new piece of information we will have about Jessica.
Sixteen months on, how are we doing? In many ways this second year of loss has felt harder than the first. We miss Jessica so very much and the ache for one more moment feels unbearable at times. But we keep going as best we can. Sophie has enjoyed her first year of school and Thomas is now a year old and increasingly on the move - cruising around the furniture and full of smiles. He is very much like Jessica in temperament.
Jessica's school have also put up a memorial for her. We were invited to school along with some of Jessica's classmates to open her memorial and to write a memory of Jessica on a ribbon. These ribbons were then tied to a beautiful butterfly which is fixed to a wall in the school playground. There is an outdoor arts space dedicated to Jessica, which is very appropriate given her love of drawing, and her photo hangs in the school corridor. The mosaic butterflies which surround it were put together by her classmates and Sophie.
Later this month, we will be travelling from John O’Groats to Land’s End by train and bus – our “JoGLE for Jessica” to raise money for Little Hearts Matter in memory of our beautiful big girl. We did this journey the other way round three years ago with our girls and it was quite an adventure. No doubt it will be very bittersweet to do it again and it will certainly be challenging with a 12-month old in tow but hopefully we will have fun too!
If you would like to support us and help us raise money for a fabulous charity that is very close to our hearts, you can do so via our JustGiving page.
We’ll update again to let you know how we get on!